DMN: Providing Others a Beautiful Place to Remember Loved Ones

DMN Feature Article
Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sisters-in-law help others remember loved ones

By MIKKI KIRBY / Special Contributor to The Dallas Morning News

DENTON – On the second Tuesday of each month, the Elks Lodge in Denton is transformed. The normally drab space is turned into a beautiful setting for people to come and remember.
For 13 years, Linda and Darlene McNatt have hauled in extravagant decorations each month for a bereavement luncheon sponsored by Ann's Haven, a member of the Visiting Nurse Association.
"The decorations are beautiful, but that's not the heart of it," said bereavement coordinator Molly Harrison. "People come and are uplifted by Linda and Darlene. Never in all of my years of social work have I met two people who are so giving and generous in spirit."
The sisters-in-law have teamed up each month because they said they are called to do it. They have always shared a bond of compassion and a love of decorating, they said.
"This has just been something in our hearts," Linda McNatt said while decorating a table with pine tree replicas and St. Nicolas statues. "Our decorations and hugs can be the greatest thing for them. Your heart just wants to hold them and take their pain away."
Volunteer Helen Speck said it's this sentiment that everyone feels from the time they are greeted at the door with hugs and kisses.
"These ladies are great givers to this old community. Some people only get out once a month for this luncheon, for Linda and Darlene," she said. "You would never know when they are hugging a stranger."
Linda McNatt, a Corinth resident, was first introduced to Ann's Haven while working as a medical technician. When the hospice decided to hold monthly meetings, she wanted to put her passion for decorating to good use. At the time, she didn't realize she and her sister-in-law had much more to give.
"People have told us over and over there is healing in helping others," said Darlene McNatt, a Denton resident. "It's a great step for them to come here. Sometimes healing comes from receiving hugs and a listening ear. That's really what we are here for."
Members of the Elks Lodge prepare the food for the luncheons and take a piece of the warmth with them each month.
"They are as good as gold," said member Joe Slone. "It's a wonderful thing to witness. We're proud to be a part of it. We've all lost someone, too, and appreciate all they put into making it a special time."
The ladies tell stories of some who have attended who just need a place to cry and let out their grief. New friendships are often made. Most just need to hear that they are going to be OK after losing someone close.
Mrs. Speck, whose husband died in 1990, said it took years for her to be able to express her loss. "Time is a great healer, especially when you have a shoulder to cry on," she said. "Make that four shoulders to cry on."
Mikki Kirby is a Dallas freelance writer.